In sales focus first on understanding your customers, not on being adorable
Sales success takes proactive work, not just a great personality.
I can appreciate how someone might think that soft sell means personality. In fact, from over 30 years in sales and marketing, mostly in soft sell despite extensive hard sell training, I believe this problem is common to newbies in the field. Most people want to be liked. Unfortunately, regardless of your approach, whether traditional, hard sell or the rising in popularity heart-centered, soft sell one, sales success takes proactive work.
I’m not going to tell you that having a good personality has no impact on how easily likable you are any more than I’ll tell you that an attractive woman can’t get most men’s attention just by entering a room. In both cases, though, the initial appeal may undermine their ability to be taken seriously. In my experience, true heart-centered, soft sell sales success has little or nothing to do with having a likable personality.
But aren’t people supposed to know, like and trust you?
That may sound contrary to the Internet marketing mantra that even I espouse about wanting to help people come to know, like and trust you. The misunderstanding is due to a superficial idea about being liked. Remember that in soft sell sales, the goal is to get to know and understand your prospects’ concerns before you sell.
You need to care enough about their interests to ask questions first. It’s essential you understand their viewpoints so be thorough. Once they confirm that you really grasp what they need and want, then you can “help customers buy.”
Earn customer trust by caring and respecting them first
The idea that soft sell sales is all about personality is wrong. Don’t be misled because we say you want prospects to know, like and trust you. There are degrees to being liked. Customers trust and like people who respect them and care about them first. When they agree that your solution fixes their problem or delivers their desires – and when they are ready, they will buy. Focus on what’s in it for them. Even if you have a marginally pleasant personality, they will buy from you because you satisfied their deeper wants and needs.
If you would like to read the inspiration for this blog post, check out Judith & Jim’s “Soft Sell Marketing Misconceptions – A Dime a Dozen.”
John,
I loved your insight re: know, like, and trust. This can and does mislead people, especially those inclined toward soft sell marketing and sales to “be nice” instead of finding out what the customer needs, his or her pain, frustration, and stuckness, and provide something that will solve that for them.
If you want to be liked, that’ll do it. Of you want to be known, that’ll do it. If you want to be trusted, that for damn sure will do it.
Jim Sniechowski
Thank you for your comment, Jim, and for the insight that sparked this post.
When I first started in sales full-time in 1979, I had to find my own way because so many trainers were focused on controlling the prospect and manipulating them by playing on their fears. Today, I’m discovering people like you and Judith, Bob Poole, Charles Green, and Linda Richardson who are also teaching the crucial role of understanding the client’s concerns before selling.
I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is to realize I’m no longer alone.