This habit of speech is one of the hardest I can think of to break. It’s natural when we feel attacked to defend ourselves. The problem is that we can harm a relationship we’ve worked hard to build. There’s something about saying “yes, but …” that undermines trust and liking someone.
Years ago I learned to never give a compliment then follow it with “but ….” In the mind of the person receiving the compliment, the “but” cancels out everything positive you said before it. In sales and marketing, whether heart-centered, soft sell sales or hard sell, you can do the same thing, particularly when handling objections.
It’s common to take them personally, to become defensive. As a result, we try a little empathy. We get in trouble when we follow our statement of understanding with a ”but …” to show our prospects or customers that while they made a good point, they are still wrong.
This is when you can win the battle but lose the war. So what’s the answer? Train yourself not to react. Avoid the battle. Develop your natural curiosity about what is really being said. Use heart-centered, soft sell sales by focusing on them. Start a dialogue. Ask [...]
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